Regrets

Today I don't know why but I suddenly felt guilt or confuse and some other feelings. lets just leave it at mixed feelings. I dont know if what I've done was good or bad, whether the choices I made was just or unjust, if it is the right choice then why is people hurt? if it is the wrong choice but would more people be happy?wrong or not it is just that people wants them self to be happy. if I please people would I be happy? if I am happy then would they be happy? it is either me being selfish or they being selfish. if I do that to them would they do good to me? I know most wont because that is how humans are. after going around and meeting people so often, how many actually selfless people have you met? how many people willing to make decision that would cause them for the sake of other people been made? by other people I meant strangers or people they aren't close to.

I was thankful that most of my classmates, course mates I've met have been kind and nice to me but I see people from other classes and so on being selfish and arrogant thinking all about them self only and trying to justify them self on the suffering of others. some how ppl like these always flock together, they make the same choices as each other and think things in a similiar manner. and people that are kind tend to flock together too. eventhough from my point of view that my group is kind but what would people view my group of friends as? innocent? childish? ignorant? fake? annoying? I think it could be like how east sees west or west sees east or how they view themself. the west sees the east as a very united nation like china and japan that supports each other to maximise their growth in economy and many other prospects but as a chinese viewing another chinese it is a dog eat dogs world. it is the same as the east view west, they see that it is a good place to live in or a haven for gud child upbringing but until they stay there, they may find that it could be very different.

how do people justify what is wrong? what is good for me may well be very bad for other people. some even may be good for certain group of people but bad for the others. is it alright to discriminate a small group of people to benefit more people? is what you are doing right or is it wrong? does people praising that you've done a good thing means it is justified as good?

Test later...

it is 7:45 in the morning n I have test later at 9:30... I didnt sleep last nite thinking bout something and I dont noe whether I can actually do my test paper later... and it consist of 30% from the finals... scary scary...

Two Face

One thing I do noe bout ppl is dat every1 is two faced....

no matter how the person is or who is dat person...guy, gal, old, young, short, tall...

what ever... once a person starts to understand things... they tend to b 2 faced.

of cuz inless the person is moderate... but who can remain in moderate??

lets juz say.. a person who a gentleman on the outside...

but deep down inside.. he mayb a pervert, a sex maniac or some1 which have some other mental problems which he doesnt noe or some other ppl doesnt noe...

I noe I do have such a problem and mayb bcuz of sayin dis u may even call me paranoid...

dere are also some other ppl which I've noticed...

when ever they are infront of a gal or teachers.. they are the perfect person u can imagine

bt bhind that mask... once they leave their target... they change instantly...

ever seen dis kind of person b4?? I'm sure u do... alot...

well... this are the kind of ppl that shows their other side to u... some other ppl they wont show dis side to u(like me).. instead, they keep it to them self and release it when the time, place n conditions are rite...

of cuz there are ways to control it... which is to understand urself 1st...

by understanding urself, then only u will realise u actually do have a darker side which makes u aware n capable of controling it... if u r strong at heart dat is...

some other ppl release their darker side online or create another virtual identity or the juz mix around with diff group of ppl which his other frens dunno n such... I'm sure u've seen b4 dat some of ur frens are much more timid or shy outside or whenever u guys go out but once he is online... he is juz so daring...

adding gals here n dere...talkin dis n dat... having lots of post n stuff...this are d kinds of examples dere are around d world... n for me... this is where I express what I think...hehehe

anyway... my point here is... every1 have 2 sides... juz bcareful not to trigger a persons darker side...hehehe

UAV(un-manned aerial vehical)

well...
today as usual...
ntg much...
woke up...
laz around.....
play computer..
den prepare to go school....
only an hour class..
bored to death man...
ntg dere..
everyday like dat..
no wonder college student come out retarded....
hahahaha
anyway...
today suppose to go for a talk with my fren but he fong me fei kei at last minute...
so sad wei....
anyway..
I took a bus home with other frens n drove to school... dropping off my frens at jusco along d way..
hahaha
so convenient...
anyway...
since I have some time left I went to d library to study la..
saw my frens n sit with them to study alittle...
hahaha
den I went for d talk at 3...
d entire plc is empty like shit wei...
but to my surprise...
every1 came late..
late by 15 minutes...
malaysian timing it seems...
i would fire dem if we were in a company...
hahaha
anyway....
d talk was given by mr julian... met him b4 in another plc n he was giving a talk bout importance of studying...
hahaha
now he is trying to promote his idea of UAV n he needs crew members...
not a bad idea I think..
d usage for military....
for police...
very efficient...
way better then the robotic society n much more profesional...
hahaha

February 2009

it has been wat... 4 months since I last posted??
hahaha
yeah
long it was..
but I definitely got some new things to put...
1st....
I've changed job ever since working in philips..
n I loved my new job actually..
the 1 I was working in during november...
I really enjoyed my time dere..
learned lots of things..
get to meet tons of ppl n of cuz not to saw some gals...
hahaha
but then I was only suppose to work for a month though....
n the boss...
fantastic..
a great guy....
of cuz..
in any groups or company there are several groups once the company has more then 20 ppl..
ppl tend to hang out with thier kind...
anyway..
I shifted to another of thier divisions on december n the guy in charge dere..
sux to the max..
not fun at all n working dere feels like geting cheated...
d boss is 1 stingy asshole n dey dont seem to b having any idea on how to run a company..
I bet I can do better then them...
hahaha
anyway..
I spend my end of holidays mostly in penang..
my christmas... n my new year I think..
too many things went on...
cant remember..
but anyway...
juz b4 my uni reopen....
my grandpa passed away..
n dat really taught me lot bout my family tree..
I nvr knew I was the eldest(positioning) in my family..
I was the biggest grandson it seems...hahaha
d funeral went on for 5 days...
den only my grandpa was put to rest... n I found out later dat my dads new wife.... got 2 daughters which were HOT.... n d youngest 1 is super hot...hahaha
but both of them are in ipoh so... dun care la..
hahaha
anyway..
school started n den chinese new year came n I have to go back to penang again..
3rd time since my job dat requires me to go to penang .... so tired of the traveling adi...
hahaha
n dis time..
was d 1st chinese new year which I have been drinkin for almost every night...
until I lost count on how many days have I been in penang...hahaha
kind of sad aint it??
den came valentine...
more money to spend...
hahaha
almost broke by den..
but I still managed to buy a camera which cost 1700 ringgit...
hahaha
wait wait wait..
let me count my pay checks for those months...
1st month... 1000
2nd month.... 2000
3rd month.... 1200
total.... 4200
was expecting 5000 but nvr mind...
hahaha
1700 gone to camera...
my brothers clothing n mine....
600
300 more spend "her" clothes....
hahaha
like dat...
2600 gone...
left 1600
bought a serf pants...
oreef pants..
200
left 1400
n the other 1k I dun recall how but I spend dem...
hahaha
n now left with 400...
I really need to start learning how to save...
hahaha
anyway..
now I'm in this robotic society in school... n the management sux too...
y am I joining all this sucky managements...
so sad man...
they wanted to design this traveler robot so fine...
they said wanna meeting for the design n I went..
but turns out... all they do is her design n urs not gud his design n urs not gud...
n guess wat..
after kena told my lecturer n other top comitee...
dey change the design to ours..
aint dat sucked??
now I gotto do double work...
after dat..
not their design is so sucky...
they ask us... those ppl which dey turn a deaf ear on to design the 2nd robot...
so sad....
with test coming n assignment..
u wan me to build it within 3 weeks??
almost impossible...
but nvr the least....
my team wanna take up the challenge n so..
I guess we gonna go for it dem...hehehe
pray me luck....

Stupidity....

ahaha
Remember how happy I was last month??
no more this month...
I broke up with her 2 3 weeks ago...
hahaha
there was several reasons behind it though....
1stly
she is rather demanding
2nd
I can't stand her mother anymore.
3rd
she dont see life in a far motion. can't see the big picture which I know she have the potential to learn much more but she seems to be blinded by her mum... idiot mum...
n of course there are other reasons which I dont wanna mention over here...
she is nice though...
maybe not for me at the moment...
hahaha
anyway...
lots of things happened in the last 1 month time...
I start to see things differently...
I seems to be missing alot of things now...
I used to be a free spirit...
now I feel tied down by something...
I cant think or see things the way I used to see
I used to be able to learn something which just 1 look but now...
I feel useless or as if devolution
hahaha
anyway..
my exam is over n I failed 1 subject..
should have spend more time studying...
hahaha
the next semester I better put my heart to it n study..
hahaha
no more playing so much
hahaha
in the mean time..
time to work...
I'm currently working in philips as a data entry which is the most boring job 1 can imagine...
all you do there is type the papers and call people to check whether is the document fake n stuff...
the only good side of it is I get to see all those show gals walking in n out n their pictures often...
and plus I get to see all those new n cool gadgets from philips 1st hand...hahaha
n that is it...
sounds boring??
:p
anyway
I recently brought a group of gals from japan to go around KL n I really missed them..
hahaha
they r juz so so so KAWAII ne....hahaha

Aint They Cute...hehehe

Aoki Kaho... 美人ですよ～～

Yoshino

Miki

Aint those girls cute??hahaha
hopefully they'll remember me and call me the next time they come to malaysia..hahaha

My 20th birthday

I've finally reached 20 years old... glad I've been stayin alive for 20 years...
hahaha
when it stucked 20... I didnt noe that my frens were all waiting outside my room already...
they just rushed in and attacked me singing happy birthday which ambushing me...hahaha
I was happy that they tooked several minutes of their time even though they all were having finals too...
I received msn messengers... calls and even smses from my frens wishing me happy birthday...
but some how I felt sad inside.... it happened to me every birthday...I can't remember since when it started but I just realise I felt like this for some time now....
anyway.. as for my birthday of course I would wanna celebrate with my gf dont i??
hhaha
I went and looked for her... she is willing to spend time with me eventhough she too is having her midterm now...
I did told her how I felt after her test...
owh yeah... and he gave me 3 bd present and my 4th is coming soon... I got to be ready on her bd den...hahaha
anyway... she smsed my dad cuz she thinks that I missed my dad which I didnt even realise..hahaha
she says dat I always talked bout my dad which also I didnt realise...
she smsed my dad saying I missed him and asked him to have lunch with me..I think.... cuz I nvr get to noe d content...
hahaha
my dad called me several minutes later and ask whether I wanna have a lunch with him...
so.. all 3 of us had lunch and my dad left for work after dat....
I felt happy seeing him on my bd since it had been 10 years since d last time I've seen him on my bd...
my mum smsed me too wishing me happy birthday which was a shock to me as she nvr remembered my birthday until several days have passed for the pass 10 years...(10 years meaning since d day they divorced...)
I have no idea what to say as eventhough I didnt recieve and bd cake or actual present... it was my happiest birthday ever... and it was all thnx to my girl...hehehe
well... ntg happened in the nite...hahaha